Black

Uh-oh, my personal Black Cloud has crept up upon me again without me noticing. Well, I did notice but I didn't acknowledge because that is the nature of my Black Cloud. When this happens, I try and rationalise it by telling myself its just down to my seratonin levels going all wonky but that doesn't stop me feeling cr@p. At the moment, I hate myself at every level but mostly I hate my time management. On Adam's advice I've been keeping a list of things to do but the list is getting so long its making me feel worse. Adam is wonderful at times like this (actually he is wonderful nearly all the time) and gets on with the household tasks I really should be doing as I only work part time, without complaining or nagging me. Trouble is, him being so wonderful only makes me feel more guilty - maybe I need a bit of nagging!

At times like this I can understand why some people turn to drink. Myself, I turn to comfort food. Yesterday I was feeling particularly cr@p so, when I was at the supermarket, (Adam - do not read any further) I decided to treat myself to to a large bag of nachos and a large bar of chocolate, thinking I'll allow myself just a little, but as usual I was deluding myself as there isn't such thing as 'just a little' when I'm at home on my own with a large amount of ready-to-eat carbohydrate. I never learn.

Thank goodness we're going on holiday in less than two weeks. We're off to the Shetland Islands with its currently near all-day daylight which should get my seratonin levels de-wonkified, hopefully.