Wrapping Presents with a Cat

MMM's recent blogs reminded me of this which I read recently:

1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.


2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.


3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.


4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.


5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.


6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.


7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.


8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.


9. Remove present from bag.


10. Remove cat from bag.


11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.


12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.


13. Try and smooth out paper, realise cat is underneath and remove cat.


14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.


15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the paper.


16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the present came in.


17. Place present on paper.


18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Realise cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.


19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape.


20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.


21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.


22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.


23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.


24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.


25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.


26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of paper.


27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.


28. Remove string, open box and remove cat.


29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room.


30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials.


31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock.


32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear cat from outside door).


33. Lay out last sheet of paper (this will be difficult in the small area of the toilet, but do your best).


34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last year as well.


35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.


36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.


37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.


38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.


39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.


40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.


41. Go to shop and buy a gift bag.

Depinked

OK - on a whim I have ditched the pink template for a new blue one. Mostly it was because it didn't look right in Mozilla and I really can't be bothered to find out why. I also took the opportunity to change all the links for all those people who moved their blogs and the people I never added (sorry).

Maybe I'll fiddle with the template to add a bit of pink. Maybe.

Whilst I'm here I would like to thank Stu and Sarah for their hospitality last night, especially as we turned out to be awkward guests due to non co-operation of the M25 and a local hotel. Enough said about both of those.

Then again, Stu and Sarah probably won't even see this due to an appalling lack of internet connected-ness. I don't know how they will manage.

All shiny and new

Well, I finally got to do something I have been looking forward to for ages and have visited the university I will be studying in come February - the brand, spanking new Canterbury Christ Church University College campus in Medway. There are already some students studying there (some courses including nursing and midwifery started in September) but they have only just got around to holding an open day there.

We will be sharing facilities with the University of Greenwich campus next door, which we didn't get to visit so we didn't see the really important stuff like the student union bar and the canteen, but we did get to see the teaching facilities which was all very exciting. The radiography practice rooms and equipment are all shiny and clean and ready for the first intake in February to break. We also saw the occupational therapy practice rooms which have a really comfy bed and armchair and even a kitchen and bathroom which made me wonder if it was possible to crash there after a heavy nights drinking. Ahem. There are loads of PCs to use and one really excellent room that has desks with a button underneath that you can press and a keyboard and flat-screen monitor pops up in the middle of the desk - which of course I had to try out. A couple of times.

I also discovered that the brand new campus is seriously deficient in the car parking department. The immediate area is a business park of the type that is carefully landscaped to offer no on-street parking. There is a shopping centre with 1500 parking spaces 10 mins walk away, unfortunately it is free for the first 4 hours and £5 for more than 4 hours parking. It is the sort of car park where you get a ticket at the entrance barrier and put it in the exit barrier to get out so I am wondering if I'd be able to walk up to the barrier to get a ticket on the way home so the exit barrier thinks the car was only there a few minutes. I've also heard it might be possible to get a pass for this car park which I'll look into.

So now that's over I'm back to the waiting. Only 94 days to go!!

Obesiosity

Just doing my bit to make obesiosity a real word! If you have no idea what I am taling about see here.